So I haven't written in a while. Why? Mostly because I don't feel the need to share my psychological distress with the world via the internet. Also because my computer is a dinosaur that is in the process of fossilization and often won't let me post.
What have I been up to lately?
A million meaningless things that both amuse and depress me.
What do you do when people you care about add to your distress and you can't even talk to them about it? I guess you just fake it until you can get over it, until you can climb out of the pit you're in. I'm not very good at faking things though. It only last so long. Sometimes just ignoring things works, but then people bring them to your attention, and remind you that you are in that pit that you were pretending was a castle. How do you climb out of it? Every time I think I've found a ladder it collapses under my wieght. Everytime it collapses I look ridiculous to the crowd of friends at the top of the pit who watch me fall and land on my face. They pretend that they want to help me but the ropes they lower have rotted and crumble as I reach for them. In the end I resent their pity, and determine to make the pit my home.
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2 comments:
interesting metaphor... is that how you see it or how others see it? Just because you are not in your element doesnt mean you are in some pit and need to get out.
The term fish out of water comes to mind. So what if the fish wants to live in the air. Perhaps he isnt a fish after all but a bird. And all his fishy friends tell him come up here and hand him ropes, and he tries but cant.
Yes, its a story of conformity and empowerment. The tension between the need for relation and the need for self. Ongoing struggle for all, harder for some, easier for others. SBI...
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. I know what you need to do, you need to come out to Colorado, cause there's both water for the fish and plenty of air and beautiful sights for the bird!
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