Days like that

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. Thanks to my mother's fine example and coaching my husband now knows how to deal with those. He dealt brilliantly yesterday.

I used to cry and he would try to fix it and when he couldn't he's get frustrated and angry and desparate to make me stop. When my mom came to Egypt for the wedding, I had multiple meltdowns. Getting married in another country, culture, and language, can be incredibly overwhelming. I cried a lot and at random moments. My mother, knowing me as she does, would simply pat my back, let me cry, and say reassuring things. She knows not to try to fix things. She knows that I just need to cry sometimes. Watching this was enlightening to John. He realized that he doesn't need to make things better, that he just needs to let me cry. He's been amazing at it ever since.

He was great yesterday. I spent a good part of the day weeping. Why? I'm sure there are a million reasons, the biggest being hormones. Hey, I'm a girl. I cry a lot. I was missing my family, and wishing the John could come with me to see them this summer. I think I was also prcessing the fact that once again things are happening the people I love in the States and I'm far away and helpless. I'm realizing that most of my friends are gone and many of them are not going to come back in the fall. And I kept going back to a comment my mother-in-law made last week about how much weight I've gained (here gaining weight is not bad, so she has no idea how psychologically damaging a comment like that can be to me). I kept thinking: I'm going back to America and everyone's going to notice how fat I am! Tragedy. Yes. Vanity. Yes. He just let me cry. He was good.

Today I'm feeling a bit more stable. What is my problem? I do not know. I just have days like that sometimes.