I live in a fishbowl where everything I do ticks somebody off. Quick, break the glass and save me from this constant audience.

Review and Progress

Yes, I am still alive. I haven't blogged in forever. It's hard to have access to the internet anywhere, but at work, and it's hard to find time to blog at work, so not a lot of blogging is getting done. Anyway, here's the deal. I am becoming more and more at home here in the sandy land of Egypt. Things are going really well. I have moved since the last time I posted. I now have a home, a place where I can relax and truly rest. It's great. My fiance and I put up and decorated a fake Christmas tree this past week, making it feel even more homey and comfotable. The weather has been chilly, which is perfect for me. It's nice and cold so that I can bundle up in all the sweaters, and drink the hot drinks that I love, but it's not frigid to the point that I can't enjoy the cold like it gets in the USA. The only problem with that is that we never get snow days. I did ask God for a snow day this week though, and He answered by giving us a day off due to an electrical fire in the school. I was just happy for the extra time to catch up on work!!! I do really love teaching here. The staff and students are awesome. Every so often though, it's nice to have some down time to catch up on work. We will be getting a Christmas break soon though, and I will not be traveling for it, so I will be able to catch up on things. That will be nice. I am going to miss my family and friends a lot over the Christmas holiday. It's going to be strange to have Christmas all by myself. My fiance and his parents all have to work that day, so it'll be me. Pout. I'll have to find something to do. We shall see.

Coffee Anyone?

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Rough Week

This past week has been really rough. Our little community here has suffered a great loss. The staff is all fairly exhausted and emotionally drained. I haven't been here as long as the others, so my role is more one of emotional support than personal grief. It's still pretty tiring. I am having on of those weeks where I feel like I just can't get ahead of things. I really enjoy my job, but I think it's going to take at least a year before I will be comfortable enough with the material and in the classroom to face a day without extreme amounts of time and preparation going into it.

Engagement

I have now gotten engaged three times. The first time, was the necessary cultural engagement, with parents approval. Culturally it's inappropriate for a couple to go out together without that, and since we plan to live in this culture, we must follow it's rules. Our parents chatted and basically both gave their approval to our relationship. The second time was just three days ago when John proposed on a sailboat on the Nile. I must say the Nile provides an excellent stage for romance. That was our engagement, not for anyone else but us. The third time was last night at our Khotuba, or engagement party. It was almost a wedding in itself. I had the hair, the nails, the make-up done. Family and friends gathered. I was hidden from my fiance until he came to usher me into the party with everyone watching, including the professional videographer and photographer who was hired for the event. We exchanged rings. John's uncle did a special message and prayed over us. We ate lots of good Egyptian food. We toasted and fed each other wedding cake. It was quite an event. So now, after all that, I think I'm quite officially engaged. No questions about it. Who wants to help me plan the wedding?

Getting Started

I have finally found a home! It is near my work, near modes of transportation, and near all the basic shopping needs. I am pretty excited about it. My roomate and I get to move in in a week. We were supposed to move in today, but some things are not finished yet. I will be happy to move in and get settled.

I started work last week. I am pretty excited about it, and a little nervous of course. I think it will be good. I just hope that I do a good job. Once I get through a week or two, I'll feel a lot better. I just need to get my feet under me. I'm sure I'll learn as I go.

Homeless

I am still homeless. I begin work in less than two weeks. I need a home! So far things haven't worked out to get an apartment, but I am hoping that they will soon. Until then a remain a vagabond refugee in my fiance's parents' home. They are so good to me, but I have that western need for autonomy, and I am really getting desparate to have a life of my own. I hope it will all work out soon. I'm sure it will, I'm just getting a little nervous.

Culture Shock

I embark on another venture into culture shock. This time it's with someone that I love which makes it so much easier. Language issues and cultural discomfort, however, cannot be avoided. I am living in a sort of language immersion program. From morning til night I hear Arabic. You would think I would learn faster than I do. Sigh. I know this process will take time, but I'm not very patient. I feel like I am a baby. I can't talk or do things for myself. I can't express to those around me that I have a functioning brain. I can't express myself at all. It's very frustrating. My fiance's parents, though, have been so patient and kind. Thank God for them. I hope their patience doesn't wear out anytime soon, because it's going to take quite a while for me to conquer this language. Until then I have to rely on my face and actions to convey what I want ot say.

This culture is not mine, and so I don't naturally understand cultural expectations, therefor I am constantly concerned about offending. It's draining to spend the whole day focussing so hard to understand just a little about what's going on around me or to have the right reaction to each situation even when I can't understand the situation.

People here are incredibly warm and gracious though, which makes my own faults easier to deal with. Lord give me grace and wisdom.

I am actually alive

Yes, I am still alive. Access to the internet and time to post have been non-existant for the most part. The past three months have been crazy. At the moment, however, I am staying in a location that has internet, and so I will post.

Over the past several months I have packed up my life in four bags and moved across the Atlantic once again. For the past two months I have been living with a group in an apartment in a neighborhood in Cairo, doing orphanage work. The group that I had been living with left the country last week to return to the USA, leaving me homeless. After a considering several bridges to live under, I decided to take refuge in the home of my fiance's parents who have been gracious enough to offer me a place to live until I find on of my own. My mission at the moment is to find a place to live before the school term starts next month.

I am very excited about the school that I will be teaching at, and the people who I will be working with. I'm slightly nervous about teaching secondary school since I have never done it before, but this is the level that I wanted to teach all along,so I can't wait to begin.

April Update

I thought that I should blog at least one time in April. The month is almost over and haven't blogged at all. I'm sure that once I head to Egypt I'll blog more frequently. So far this month has been good. I spent a weekend out east with a bunch of my college friends. That was a ton of fun. I realized once again how much I miss college and how much I miss them. Sniff sniff. I spent Easter with the family. This was the first Easter that I have spent here with the family in about seven years. Other than that I have been working, spending as much time as possible with friends and family, and trying to get everything for the trip organized before I go. The whole thing has its stressful mooments, but I am really excited about it.

Brief

My time here in the U.S. is winding down. Less than two months before I'm off to things unknown. The job opportunity that I mentioned before looks pretty positive, which means I'll probably be staying in Egypt after the others come back from our trip together. It seems highly likely that I will be staying there to teach for a couple of years. It's all very exciting, but I am beginning to get a little nervous. I am hoping to at least be home for summers, but we will see what happens. Right now I am just enjoying everything, and spending time with the people that I will miss while I am there.

Your Heart Is Purple




For you, love is about establishing and developing a deep connection.
If it's true love, it brings you more wisdom and inner strength.

Your flirting style: Sincere

Your lucky first date: An afternoon at a tea house

Your dream lover: Is both thoughtful and expressive

What you bring to relationships: Understanding

EEEEEEEEEEEE

Some breakthroughs on the job front. Very exciting stuff, but I will refrain from details until a later time. Ambiguities until some things have been settled. Details to follow.

Anxiety

I am beginning to get stressed about finances. I feel like I will never get ahead. I am tired of struggling though. I am still trying to prepare myself financially for this summer. I have this dumb school loan to pay off. People are always asking to go out and do stuff, and I really can't afford to. I feel like a jerk turning them down over and over again, and when I go I feel guilty for spending money that I shouldn't be spending. I want so badly to get out to Denver to see the boys out there before I leave the country. I know my job isn't going to help much, but there are reasons that I have this job and not a better paying one at the moment. Life just gets stressful sometimes.

Misc

Life's been busy. We opened the new store this past week. I'll be working six days a week at the store and at least one with the girls, which is great. I know that I don't have the highest paying jobs, but they are jobs that I love, and hopefully I will be able to save a little bit of money. This summer's coming quickly, and I need to be ready for it. I am so excited about it. I talked to my friend about our travel plans yesterday, and it seems that everything is falling into place. So far so good.

1, 2, 3...

Life's been busy, in a good way, but there's really nothing remarkable to write about. So I'll list it.

1. I have become friends with a starving Bohemian writer.
2. I discovered an amazing Thai restaurant through some friends at work.
3. My car was brutally attack by a rabid shopping cart while I was at work in the predawn hours of the morning.
4. I have begun an Arabic tutorial, so hopefully I can independantly ask where a bathroom is this summer.
5. I have continued search out job possibilities, and have come across something that just might fit. (We shall see)
6. I have discovered a few new Starbucks beverages to add to my much-loved list.
7. I ate Mineo's pizza with some of my closest friends. Good times.

See? Really not much worth writing about. Tune in for better stuff (hopefully) next time!!!

Phad Thai

Mmmmm.... I found all of the ingredients and tried my hand at making phad thai today. Sooo good. A taste that I have missed. I tried it out on my parents. They approved. So delicious.

I went back and read some of my Thailand journals (my personal ones, not blogs), and looked through a bunch of my photos. Squeazed in between the rough moments were some really good times. I loved travelling in Thailand. It is a wonderful country to travel in. I think it's a really good country to work in too, but I definately had my rough spots. My two biggest issues were homesickness and being screamed at in another language almost everyday. I think that the screaming might have contributed to the homesickness. I am almost certain that screaming and misery like that are not at all common for foreigners working in Thailand. Thai people are so sweet and polite. There are so many things that I miss about Thailand.

I worked open today. Love that shift. I work with great people and had a really good time. I am really tired now though. Why is it that the night before I have to wake up at 4:30 I can't fall asleep? It happens everytime. I didn't sleep at all last night, and when I did it was in ten minute clips. Now my eyes are droopy and I have to stay up and take the kids to youth group tonight. Might get rough. I may actually skip CSI tonight and head straight to bed.

I have less than a week to decide whether I am going to take an Arabic course or just do a computer program. I'm not sure what is best. I want to be wise with my money and time, but I also want to learn. Back to the scales. I wish those pro's and con's would maintain a consistant weight.

Good books and great coffee

So I worked the early shift today. I love opening the store. It may be way earlier than I care to be awake, but for some reason I find myself in a better mood and functioning better somewhere in that misty space between sleep and reality. The drive at 5am is much calmer, and it's great to be done with a day of work somewhere around lunch time. Besides, what better place to spend those early morning hours than a coffee shop, especially for someone as addicted to the beverage as I am. It works for me!

Tomorrow is my day with my kids. Have I mentioned that I love all of my random jobs?

I just finished reading a book called Inside Afghanistan by John Weaver. It's about an American (the author) living in Afghanistan doing relief work with refugees in the year 2001. It speaks of the atmosphere of the country leading up to the events of 9/11, of the hardship that the people of Afghanistan endured at the hands of the taliban. It gives a unique perspective on U.S. retaliation after 9/11. Definately an eye-opener. I was also a moving reminder that there is world beyond America, and in many places it is a very desparate world. Americans tend to forget that.

Jase is coming home this weekend! Yeah!!!! I can't wait to see ya bud, but do you have to go home in the middle of the Superbowl? Honestly!

MySpace?

So MySpace seems to be the new trend, the place where everyone is, yet I continue to do all of my babbling on Blogger. Should I get a MySpace? The only use that I see for it would be to post some of my photos. I have issues getting photos to load on this site (Jase, help), but I would like to put some of my photo's on the web. I have some cool ones of far-away places. Advice?

Movies

Two dvd's that I recently rented and think are worth checking out: Cinderella Man and The Constant Gardener. Both worth your time (I think). Tom if you disagree about the latter, sorry for making you watch it with me, but you're a good friend for enduring it.

The Beauty of Technology

Oh the wonders of the internet. I love voice chat. In the past couple of days I have had conversations with friends on three different continents. It is so nice being able to just put on a headset and talk to someone for as long as you want completely free. It's definately a plus with my lifestyle. The beauty of technology.

Egypt this Summer

I am getting an apartment in Egypt this summer with some of my friends again. I am sooo excited. My cousin is probably coming with me for the first month, and I think that my best friend is coming for about ten days. We are going to work in the same orphanage that we worked in the last time we were there. I can't wait. Maybe I'll get teaching job while I am there. Who knows. We shall see. I will eventually settle into some form of consistant life. I feel like that's what everyone's waiting for me to do, but something in me won't let me live the typical American dream. It's just not my dream. Until I leave I'm just going to do my random jobs and save money for the summer. I'm so excited about it!

I took J's test

Does this sound like me? It seemed a little off, but maybe I just don't see things about myself that others see. What do you think?


Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 70%
Stability |||||||||| 40%
Orderliness |||| 20%
Accommodation |||||||||||||| 56%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||||||||| 63%
Artistic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 50%
Materialism |||||| 30%
Narcissism |||||||||| 36%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Work ethic |||||| 30%
Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43%
Conflict seeking |||| 16%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||||||| 36%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 50%
Wealth |||||||||| 36%
Dependency |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||| 36%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Sexuality |||||||||||| 50%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical fitness |||||||||||| 44%
Histrionic |||||||||| 36%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70%
Vanity |||||| 30%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%


Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.


trait snapshot:

craves attention, messy, open, rash, irritable, likes large parties, low self control, weird, fragile, does not like to be alone, emotionally sensitive, worrying, depressed, heart over mind, does not respect authority, dependent, not rule conscious, not good at saving money, more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits, likes to fit in, very social, frequently second guesses self, phobic, suspicious, not careful, outgoing, vain, compassionate, aggressive, likes to make fun, hates to lose

Back to the drawing board

I went to talk to some people today about further education. I really don't know how practical this is at the moment. I don't know if itis going to happen right now. I think I may be reverting to former plans and holding off on the master's. Who knows things still may work out sooner than expected, but it doesn't seem so. That is fine though. I have always planned on getting my master's. That isn't changing, I just have other ideas about how it is going to happen. Back to the drawing board.

*Brrrr!*

Christmas is over and New Years is over, so now basically I have months of frigid weather to look forward to and no holiday to give that weather the illusion of being festive. And the snow continues....

The headaches are back. I think that most of last month was headache free, but they have returned. I have had this one for two days now. It makes me want to puke. Gotta love those. I don't know what the issue is, but I wish I could get rid of these. Yes, I have had my head examined. They can't find anything wrong. I'm not saying that there isn't anything wrong, they just can't seem to diagnose anything medically. It's just one of those lifelong annoyances that I'll probably never get rid of. Blah.

I really am not feeling as negative as I sound in this happy blog. I am looking for another job. Now that the Christmas rush is over I need some supplementary income. That's always fun. I probably will just get something to generate some cash for the next couple of months until I head to Egypt.

I'm also looking into possibilities in further education. We shall see how that goes. I know I want to get my master's, but I didn't think I would get into it this soon. The way things seem to be working out in my life lately it just might be best for me to pursue my master's sooner rather than later. That's all up in the air of course. We shall see what happens.

This weekend I am spending with the youth group at church. This is their winter retreat weekend. It's a lot of fun. These kids are a trip. I really enjoy participating in these things. I wish I could do more with them. Right now a bunch of them are playing football out in this frigid weather. Crazy kids. Well, I supposed I should return to my shivering.