I went away for the weekend, and it was a lot of fun. I was the only English speaker in the whole group, so there were definitely language issues and a lot of laughter as a result. I had no clue what was going on ever, I just followed familiar faces. We did all the typical Thai stuff that I hadn't done yet. We rode elephants, went bamboo rafting, and visited temples. We even slept on the river in a bamboo raft / hut. We went to the bridge across the River Kwai, the one that was built by Allied POW's for the Japanese during WWII. We also went to the cemetery of the soldiers who died there. I must have been emotional, because as soon as I walked into the cemetery, the history of the place and the messages on the headstones overwhelmed me and I started bawling. I couldn't stop until I had walked out of the cemetery. The people I was with didn't quite know what to do with me. They kept glancing at me anxiously. When we left the cemetery some of the ladies put flowers in my hair, and told me I was "suh-why," beautiful. That was a sweet expression of comfort.
Last night when I came home though I went back into the slump of Saturday. My roommate hasn't been here this weekend, so it's been a little lonely. I am not looking forward to the point when she leaves for good. I don't know why, but I just don't feel like I fit in with the people here. They are all really nice, but I just don't fit into their circle. Sometimes I just really miss my family and friends from home.
Sometimes the idea of going home makes me nervous. My biggest concern is the job thing. Will I be able to get a decent job when I get home? And if I do, will I like it, or will I be completely miserable in it? What will it be like living at home as an adult. It's gonna be weird. I am totally used to doing my own thing. Will I be able to afford life in the U.S.? It will be really weird going back to that kind of economy again. I live quite comfortably here on the salary that I have, things are a lot different in the States. I probably shouldn't be worrying about it all already, but I am pretty good about worrying ahead. Stress.
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2 comments:
Don'tt let worry rule your life sarah. Just contend with the day to day worries, those are enough to weigh you down. Put the future in God's hands, after all, he created it anyway.....
jobs are easy enough to come by, just ask the expert. ;-) Of course, liking your job is a totally different story and thats entirely up to you. If I didnt feel like I could do so much more I wouldnt be dissatisfied with the job I have. Its all about perspective. Ill leave you with that...
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