The sun rose this morning, and I think it was beautiful, but I can't know for sure because I could only see faint traces of it peeking from behind the crumbling concrete of dingy buildings. I began this day, this week, with the miserable feeling fo dread lying like lead in the pit of my stomach. Why can't I get past this feeling of nausea that accompanies me to work every morning? It's ridiculous. About halfway through the day, however, the lead in the pit of my stomach began to lighten and I began feeling better. It's another gray day today, and I rather like it. It's cooler than usual, and a nice break from the scorching sun and steaming heat that characterizes typical Bangkok weather. My students were obnoxious and defiant this morning, but towards the end of the day I had a couple of well-behaved classes, and the ones who weren't, were at least young enough and cute enough to get away with it. Am I a teacher? Is this really me? Sometimes I love it, but sometimes I wonder. Can I really do this? Well, I am. I don't like my job too much, but it's not really the teaching that I don't like, it's other things... I guess I can only do my best.
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3 comments:
When it gets later in the year (spring) you should catch the sunrise before each school morning.....
I am up and out before the sunrise every morning anyway, you just can't see it. I live in Bangkok, it's hidden behind buildings. WHen I am no longer living in the city I should though.
Sarah, you never did like confrontations and the possibility of that every morning is what is giving you the knot in the pit of your stomach. And as the day goes on and the possibility of it deminishes the knot disappears.
Have you tried praying before you go into the building and ask the Lord to help you deal with whatever is thrown your way and whoever is thrown your way. Ask God for the words that you would need that day, whatever it is and to help you to keep calm and have the grace for others that God has for you. I love you, Sweetie! Mom
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