Honestly how do you go from sleeping in a field of dead bodies, seeing people's lives destroyed, helping people who are desparately searching for loved ones (who really had no chance of survival) to teaching snobby little children who get everything that they want, and working for people who are so focussed on promoing the school bringing in students to bring in more $$$ that they give only a passing thought to the disaster that has devastated or taken so many lives? Ok, so maybe I am being a bit harsh, a bit unfair. Actually I know I am being way too harsh, but it's hard not to be at the moment. I had no chance to decompress. I went from disaster zone one day to teaching and dealing with all the stress that I hate the next. After this past week everything that I do here seems so meaningless. I am sorry that I am venting, but I figure that it's better for me to get it all out here than during my workday or with the people around me. I came back and fit right back into the mold that I am supposed to fit, went right back to life, but it's miserable. I don't know really what I want though. I don't really want to go back into that disaster zone. I would do it, but it was really hard to handle. Mostly I just want to go back to America and be with all of the people that I love. I am so glad that my brother is here with me still. When he leaves I think I am going to have a minor breakdown. I think I just need to cry and get it out of my system, but I don't want to do it yet. I want to enjoy every moment with Dave still here.
Lord, help. I need Your perspective right now.
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2 comments:
Wow, that has to be a rough transition. Often times, people who are directly affected by a disaster don't really care or feel like they have to care about what happened. This is the natural state of people. With wisdom, comes an increase in sorrow.....
As your mom I want so badly to make it all go away, and bring you home! I want to hold you and let you cry, pet your hair and wiped the tears away!
Sarah, I think a good cry while Dave's there might help. He can be the arms to hold you and cry into. Whatever you do you NEED to talk it out and he's the ears to understand what you've been through. Don't bottle it up or you will explode! ~ Love, Mom
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